i don't scroll through short form content very often but sometimes i will if that is what i can fit in with what i am doing during my work day. i don't know what the fuck poisoned my feed but today i got one video of someone crying about working a normal job because she "has morals" so she can't do onlyfans. i think it's dumb as hell to imply that sex work is lazy work. there is no way that woman was intelligent enough to be a successful sex worker lol. i don't fuck with demonizing sex workers to deceive yourself into thinking you are above other women just to feel better about hating your own existence. a few minutes later i got a video that used woowoo speak to warn against going to clubs and bars because of the "low vibrational" energy. i think people should be discerning when navigating spiritual spaces online. i don't know. it seemed stupid as fuck to me because a lot of my more positive spiritual encounters have happened while i was out partying. i have one guide in particular that loves it when i dance. it just feels like a lot of new age content is colored by unprocessed religious indoctrination.
i've spent so much of my life being shy and self conscious. i tend to carry myself in a very rigid and controlled manner. when i was in elementary school i didn't care what people thought about me and actually really enjoyed standing out and how people would comment on how weird i was. i liked making people uncomfortable. i thought it was funny. then i started to accumulate layers of social armor. i've spent most of my adulthood trying to rediscover the confidence of a child. it's been such a process trying to undo it all. how strange is it that going out and dancing always feels like i am commiting some huge act of bravery?