i've spent so much of my life being shy and self conscious. i tend to carry myself in a very rigid and controlled manner. when i was in elementary school i didn't care what people thought about me and actually really enjoyed standing out and how people would comment on how weird i was. i liked making people uncomfortable. i thought it was funny. then i started to accumulate layers of social armor. i've spent most of my adulthood trying to rediscover the confidence of a child. it's been such a process trying to undo it all. how strange is it that going out and dancing always feels like i am commiting some huge act of bravery?