the first part that i remember was being in a hallway and there were two groups of girls doing tarot readings on opposite ends. i had cards with me and since there was space in the middle i offered to do readings too and some people split from the other groups to start forming mine. this upset one of the girls.

i was at the dentist and _ messaged me. i was done and i was waiting for something, i dont remember what. i went outside to reply and i was struggling to get some of my messages through and i kept making tech mishaps like accidentally viewing random people's instagram stories and things like that. i met up with him and he left me alone in his room. i was looking around at the things in the room and saw the octopus animal spirit card surrounded by a few black tarot cards with holographic print on them that i couldn't read. one of them had a 4 on it. i apparently left them there.

i was eating a strawberry / chocolate cookie snack(sort of like pocky) and _ came back into the room and took our clothes off and started fingering me. i was not eating it cutely so it was kinda weird tbh lol. i had to stop eating because it felt too nice and i was in the middle of telling him that his fingers felt good and then i woke up and realized it was a dream. i sent messages again and went to meet up with him again but a lot of people were there. it felt like a party. there were scary looking people outside of the fence watching us. a girl with blonde hair and lime green clothes was seeking attention and she didn't like that i was there and was looking at me as she spoke to other people. i told her that i liked her eye makeup. when i said that it was a nice green color, _ laughed and i actually woke up.

a girl tried to steal my neopets tarot cards

she ended up giving me a reading with them. i don't remember what the outcome was or what it was about but i ended up forgiving her and giving her the deck.

she left and i was trying to lock the door but it was ajar. she opened the door back up to let me know. i told her that i knew and that i was locking it. she left and i locked the door. there was a closet like space between the exit door and the main room of the house. shoes and things were kept there. anyone could walk into that area. i was concerned about the safety of entry

after that i started to recieve a lot of discord messages from many communities that i was in. they all felt new.

i was observing a couple in a room. a girl with red hair and a man switching between speaking english and mandarin. they were arguing. i think they were breaking up? a book was on the counter and it was split open. i tried to be careful moving it so that the page wasn't lost. the man kept trying to keep a plant steady in a bowl during the argument but it kept falling over. i looked at the plant and it couldn't stay upright because there were no roots.

a girl was talking to me about love and soulmates. i told her about how my encounter with the person that she called my twin flame was not that and we met to resolve my karma and break a cycle so that i could reawaken. i was certain that my reward for the work that I did was meeting the real love of my life and living the magical life of my dreams. the one i desperately wished for in 2020. she was checking to see if i had any doubts that the person i met is my counterpart. all of the different types of "soulmate" labels are strange and dumb and lead to too much confusion and i want nothing to do with them. it is toxic. how i feel is how i feel and i know that the universe has led me to something mystical and good for me. 3:33am as i finish writing this.

two moths and a pink butterfly. _ was trying to show me the difference between them. it felt like detective work. when we looked at them you told me that the butterfly was pretty but the moths have eyes on their backs and can see in the darkness. when i left she asked me what i was going to do and i jokingly told her that i was going to go make some "bad decisions"

i was in a big house full of transient girls.occasionally boys would come and go but i didn't really interact with any of them heavily. i think some of them had relationships with some of the girls or something. i did see some of them sleeping with each other. i got into fights with one of the boys a lot. one time was because he was touching my thigh while i was trying to write in a diary and i wanted nothing to do with him. another was because he was annoying a different girl. a few of the girls had pet dogs. there were a lot of small dogs. i think at one point one of them got poisoned because of something one of the boys left out. i did not like them. there was one that i met that i felt neutral about. we had a conversation that implied that i didn't belong in a "town" is what he called it. early in the dream my mom had left me there. she said she would make sure that i would have one of the nicer beds because her friend owned the house that i was in. it was a long dream so i can't remember every event. like it was weeks in the dream. we all took care of each other and gave each other gifts like stickers and crafts. we also all kissed a lot lol. like A LOT. we honestly just did cute girl things most of the time. i think there was a lot of drug use going on too. i forget what she called it but there was something blue and pretty that a girl was smoking on the porch during a party. i argued with a girl because i thought she stole my binder because it looked like mine. she proved that it was hers and i felt so bad. but i also cried when i told her it made me realize how much we had in common. somehow this led to us making out and touching each other. i kissed so many girls in this dream lol. a girl gave me cat ears and a costume for some late night event we were all doing. i felt so bad because she told me "it isn't much but i used what i had to get this for you" i told her the cat headband was just like one i used to have that broke. it was a red and black cheetah print one. i told her that i had to go to my mom's house to get something but i would be back in time before the event so we could get ready together. we kissed for a while and i told her how beautiful she looked before i left. it was like she was glowing and she was just the prettiest person i had ever seen. radiant. and then i woke up and i miss her and everyone else so much but especially her ):

in a hospital room. i was in a hurry to leave because i told _ i would meet up with her and ride share to the airport. my mom was helping me push a cart with my bags on it. i pushed something to change the shape of the cart to make it easier to manage but it was right the first time. we were struggling to put it back the way that it was. a beautiful man came over and showed me how it worked and we fixed it.

at the ice cream shop but i wasn't working. i found matcha brownies so i was trying to get someone to make me a sundae with ube icecream. i was actively avoiding a person that used to be my friend but i made sure that everyone knew why.

i spent most of my time trying to leave a house party. i kept going in circles taking different people to their vehicles one at a time. i kept ending up back at the party. at some point someone asked me "how are you still here? you have been trying to go home for hours." then a group of people came in with a giant bag and for some reason i said that it belonged to my friend's husband. then they opened it up and started taking photos of everything inside and said that it was evidence.

i tried to leave again and someone walked with me to help me find my car. they were trying to get close to me and i linked arms with them. they asked me why i did that because they just wanted a quick hug. i think i just wanted to feel close to someone in the moment. while we were walking, we walked past a group of people and overheard them gossiping about someone's sexuality. i was annoyed and resisted the urge to confront them. too focused on wanting to go home.

the person that i was walking with found their car and left and said that mine should be close. i finally found it and it was packed with internet celebrities and i realized that they had stolen my car and it was why i couldn't leave. i was angry and i was yelling at them and crying before i woke up.

gave my sister a sword with a letter hidden in the sheath to let her know who it was that killed me if i died.

my dreams have had too much going on in them for me to remember much even if i try to take notes. i distinctly remember trying to show you a note from my phone about another dream that i had but it wasn't on my phone. i told you it was because we were not on the same timeline anymore.

hypnagogic visions:

1. a man's hands opening pill bottle, in their perspective(recurring theme in my dreams, something to do with healing but also addiction)

2. a big black puppy jumping on me happily(in lenormand the dog represents: loyalty, friendship, devotion, a follower, obedience, support)

dream:

_ was sitting at a table in a kitchen. i wanted to take a picture with them but only to make _ jealous. something about a stovetop and fire.(probably something about wanting to create for an audience)

tarot reader video in the background. _ was there, mildly sexual interaction. they mentioned something about returning from universal japan. i said that i was planning a japan trip to go there for the apothecary diaries thing. (i used a theme park tarot deck yesterday and got a happy reading) i said that i was watching the video because i was learning tarot and went to find my cards to show them.

two small blonde children with wings keeping us from cuddling in a bed and then they ran away(twins? gemini?)

a message from the spiritual entity that i am back in communication with. an ancestor from my mom's side. they appeared in a dream i had around 5 years ago when we were in heavy communication and introduced themself as a babaylan.

a feminine voice. very powerful. strong, assertive. a typed out assessment about me: she called me princess nim in her review and described my physical appearance. something about me not truly knowing the evil eye. i think overall she called me gentle. (a tarot reading i watched recently told me i would recieve a message from them in a dream and to document what i can so here i am lol)

a glass orb shattered all over the floor.

i went to look for something to sweep up the mess.

i found my mom to ask for a broom. she asked me what something meant in tagalog and she said it adds more strength to the statement.

a woman i shared my money (probably symbolic of abundance or insecurity in general/root chakra things) with telling me that i only have so much left to spend and me being defensive about it saying that i know how much i have and that she didn't need to tell me

the building that i was in looked very old. i was in some sort of a hospital room. someone in a bed asked me to grab a pill from the cabinet for them.

i asked one of the people working there if they had them and she said yes and walked away.

i didn't know where they were. i followed her around and i asked her where they were because i didn't know where they were.

she gave me one. by the time i made it back to the guy in bed he had already gotten one from one of the nurses but he said that the one i had was better. i gave it to him and he thanked me sincerely and seemed happy about it.

i was asked to help prepare food in another room. there is a gap in my memory here. what i do remember was somebody asking if i streamed and i told them that i didn't and the person next to them told me that i would be good at it.

i went outside to serve the food. it was somewhere tropical and a wedding was happening. one of my exes was there and i dont remember everything that i talked to him about. i do remember him trying to be flirty and nostalgic. i told him that he wasnt even in my top 20 out of the people that i had ever liked and that i didnt want to date an older man ever again.