a dream within a dream. _ and i were taking turns communicating feelings and providing life updates with cards. she mentioned something about dogs from that dream and it confirmed to me that we were in the same dream. (i've been wearing the sunstone bracelet that she gifted me 5 years ago for protection & confidence & creative energy)

a birthday party for my sister with brightly colored cake. mario kart. a cute boy kissed me. i said i had to tell _ first to be polite. he was outside smoking a blunt. i asked for a hit and he ignored me and walked away so i screamed "fuck you _, fuck you" at him and decided it wasn't actually worth telling him so i didn't follow him. a woman sitting on the steps laughed and said "did he green screen her? haha good boy"(is this an actual term or is my dream brain just being creative lmao?) i could have said some rude things about her appearance. i definitely thought them but i didn't say anything lol. she followed him and i saw him pass the blunt to her. i immediately went back inside to fuck the boy that kissed me. he asked me if i found _ and i said "fuck _"

looking in a closet at a hotel to show _ which pairs of matching shirts there were so we could figure out what to wear to six flags to meet his two friends. i had to buy my own ticket. and now awake nim is mad at dream nim for not saying anything about that. i don't think we actually spoke at all in the dream though. it was more of a telepathic thing. so i am mad that i didn't think it. i tried to leave a mark on his neck and i tried to make him whimper and i was annoyed that he didn't do that either.

at the ice cream shop but i wasn't working. i found matcha brownies so i was trying to get someone to make me a sundae with ube icecream. i was actively avoiding a person that used to be my friend but i made sure that everyone knew why.

i spent most of my time trying to leave a house party. i kept going in circles taking different people to their vehicles one at a time. i kept ending up back at the party. at some point someone asked me "how are you still here? you have been trying to go home for hours." then a group of people came in with a giant bag and for some reason i said that it belonged to my friend's husband. then they opened it up and started taking photos of everything inside and said that it was evidence.

i tried to leave again and someone walked with me to help me find my car. they were trying to get close to me and i linked arms with them. they asked me why i did that because they just wanted a quick hug. i think i just wanted to feel close to someone in the moment. while we were walking, we walked past a group of people and overheard them gossiping about someone's sexuality. i was annoyed and resisted the urge to confront them. too focused on wanting to go home.

the person that i was walking with found their car and left and said that mine should be close. i finally found it and it was packed with internet celebrities and i realized that they had stolen my car and it was why i couldn't leave. i was angry and i was yelling at them and crying before i woke up.

gave my sister a sword with a letter hidden in the sheath to let her know who it was that killed me if i died.

my dreams have had too much going on in them for me to remember much even if i try to take notes. i distinctly remember trying to show you a note from my phone about another dream that i had but it wasn't on my phone. i told you it was because we were not on the same timeline anymore.

hypnagogic visions:

1. a man's hands opening pill bottle, in their perspective(recurring theme in my dreams, something to do with healing but also addiction)

2. a big black puppy jumping on me happily(in lenormand the dog represents: loyalty, friendship, devotion, a follower, obedience, support)

dream:

_ (symbolic of my distaste for past me's inauthenticity and desperate need to be liked)in a kitchen. i wanted to take a picture with them but only to make _ jealous. something about a stovetop and fire.(probably something about wanting to create for an audience)

tarot reader video in the background. _ was there, mildly sexual interaction. they mentioned something about returning from universal japan. i said that i was planning a japan trip to go there for the apothecary diaries thing. (i used a theme park tarot deck yesterday and got a happy reading) i said that i was watching the video because i was learning tarot and went to find my cards to show them.

two small blonde children with wings keeping us from cuddling in a bed and then they ran away(twins? gemini?)

a message from the spiritual entity that i am back in communication with. an ancestor from my mom's side. they appeared in a dream i had around 5 years ago when we were in heavy communication and introduced themself as a babaylan.

a feminine voice. very powerful. strong, assertive. a typed out assessment about me: she called me princess nim in her review and described my physical appearance. something about me not truly knowing the evil eye. i think overall she called me gentle. (a tarot reading i watched recently told me i would recieve a message from them in a dream and to document what i can so here i am lol)

a glass orb shattered all over the floor.

i went to look for something to sweep up the mess.

i found my mom to ask for a broom. she asked me what something meant in tagalog and she said it adds more strength to the statement.

a woman i shared my money (probably symbolic of abundance or insecurity in general/root chakra things) with telling me that i only have so much left to spend and me being defensive about it saying that i know how much i have and that she didn't need to tell me

we were in a clothing store with people that were supposed to be your friends but it felt like they actually weren't.

one of them brought a laptop to you to let you know that someone wished you a happy birthday.

you said they were the only person to tell you that. i leaned in towards your ear to whisper to you and you got angry, saying that i was only going to tell you happy birthday after finding out that way.

the building that i was in looked very old. i was in some sort of a hospital room. someone in a bed asked me to grab a pill from the cabinet for them.

i asked one of the people working there if they had them and she said yes and walked away.

i didn't know where they were. i followed her around and i asked her where they were because i didn't know where they were.

she gave me one. by the time i made it back to the guy in bed he had already gotten one from one of the nurses but he said that the one i had was better. i gave it to him and he thanked me sincerely and seemed happy about it.

i was asked to help prepare food in another room. there is a gap in my memory here. what i do remember was somebody asking if i streamed and i told them that i didn't and the person next to them told me that i would be good at it.

i went outside to serve the food. it was somewhere tropical and a wedding was happening. one of my exes was there and i dont remember everything that i talked to him about. i do remember him trying to be flirty and nostalgic. i told him that he wasnt even in my top 20 out of the people that i had ever liked and that i didnt want to date an older man ever again.