germany 2025

bought a plane ticket to hamburg because i was supposed to go with my ex for our anniversary to see ichiko aoba but i broke up with him before the trip because i was holding out hope that he would make up months of pain to me on valentine's day and ~surprise~ he didn't. i understand where i was enabling and even encouraging codependent toxicity but at least now i know what i want and don't want to cultivate within a romantic relationship dynamic. a blessing in disguise, i think.

anyway i still went to germany and was as kind to myself as i could be because i deserved it. i still wanted to see ichiko aoba but i got a terrible hit of intense fear and anxiety when i went to buy a ticket for the hamburg show - probably the spirits or my future self in a particular timeline warning me about my ex, so i bought one for berlin instead. when i booked my hotels i was like "oh i can get nice rooms like i wanted to since i only have to focus on me now" and this was the start of my recovery process.

day one

watched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind on my flight bc i like suffering i guess. had a layover in london but my first flight was late so i missed boarding. i actually think the universe was protecting me from ever encountering that ex of mine again. cried about it because lol autistic meltdown but i ended up with an airport voucher and bought a panna cotta and a drink at 10am but it's an airport so i'm allowed. someone asked if i was an exchange student and that boosted my self esteem a bit hehe. sooo this ended up being my first lesson in patience this year from the universe. but like, the good kind of patience. not "putting up with people draining me for as long as i can endure it" patience.

struggled opening the door to my airbnb because europe is cursed and i had to call the owner about it. i genuinely have no idea how they determined i was filipino because most people can't tell but they were extra nice to me because of that. i was rly hungry so i ordered schnitzery. i actually rly liked it lol. i was fucking exhausted from a full travel day so i ended up just going to bed.

day two

walked to a shop first thing in the morning to make sure i had a bag that would fit neuro and then stopped at amber cafe for coffee and breakfast. there weren't many people there so it was comfy and cute.

went to miniatur wunderland and all i could think about was how much my sister would love it and how i wished she would travel with me someday. this was my first time taking neuro out for photos in public but i kept telling myself "i am cringe but i am free" and it ended up being easier than i thought. honestly if i can do something like this, i can do anything.

walked to the st nikolai memorial and architecture was gorgeous. it was fun walking around and it just felt like such a pretty day.

had a curry wurst and it was so good. i'm not sure why they asked me if i wanted it spicy if it wasn't spicy at all but i still enjoyed it. finished the night at a bar called the bohemian. their menu was a lot of fun!

i had to chip away at a giant icecube for one of my drinks and i ended up winning a drink at their other bar. i could not read this at all but the nice man bringing me drinks told me what it said and apparently it's normally just lyrics or something fortune cookie-esque sooo basically i'm lucky and the universe loves me.

day three

grabbed some bread and coffee for breakfast and took the train to berlin and it was actually so nice and comfy. when i got to the station in berlin i got a curry chicken burger from mcdonald's and it actually might be my favorite thing that i've had at a mcdonald's, like even better than what i tried in asia.

had a drink at the hotel bar and then took a taxi to the urania to see ichiko aoba.

i posted a little diary entry to one of my blogs 10 months ago and i am moving it here, as i am working on this page of my website. i think it is pretty magical to resurface as i have been pulling the star for myself recently.

transient encounters with lovely humans. thank you for being my friend for the night, lilo. wandering around on my own has been fun but it was nice to speak to someone else even if it was only for a moment.

ichiko aoba was ethereal. the penguin song was especially cute.

// when i was small i could see the fairies and foggy past life memories. lonely but never alone. when i chose myself the fairies reappeared for the first time in five years to congratulate me and give me reassurance. so much love. are you just jealous that magic exists for me? i got lost yet again but i am on my way back to me.

in between the dream world and this one i received a message: the star. one of my favorite tarot cards. maybe it is because i am an aquarius rising but i think i love it even more because it follows the tower. i can't wait to become who i am meant to be

day four

took neuro to a cafe called "2D always together" and had a stawberry tiramisu with a black sesame latte. the tiramisu was super yummy. not the best sesame latte but i will pretty much always get one if it is a menu option. it was a cute place though, they were playing k-drama music and that always puts me in a good mood.

walked to haus schwarzenberg and it was so artsy and pretty. i loved it a lot. sat outside, drank a couple of beers, messaged my sister, and fed my pikmin.

walked over to the berlin cathedral and sat at the park for a bit then grabbed some korean food from a place called "angry chicken" on my way back. spent the rest of my night in my hotel watching neuro's disney stream.

day five

took a little train and went to markthalle neun to find something to eat. had some sad dumplings. probably the only mid thing i've eaten in germany. my mother sent me on a mission to buy a stein for my father so i completed that quest today. lots of walking around so my pikmin we happy.

walked along the east side gallery and the murals were an experience. it was longer than i imagined it would be.

stopped to eat at a viet place to make up for the sad dumplings and then explored raw-gelände. had some drinks at a bar and found a random photobooth outside.

day six

took the train back to hamburg. spent the day wandering europa passage. had pizza and a drink at lucacelli, then walked around alsterfontäne. went back to my hotel and had another drink and a lava cake at the restaurant there. spent the rest of the night packing up in the hotel. i definitely deserved how nice that room was. it was a really cozy last day.

bye bye germany!